Friday, April 21, 2006

Ugly.

I just want to further explain a statement I made a couple of posts back when I was talking about Mairi`s hair. I`ve recieved a few emails on it, so might as well clarify what I meant so as to save further offence...

I kept on thinking how my mother had cut my long hair very short when I was four and 43 years later I still haven`t forgiven her for sending me through childhood ugly. I wasn`t going to do that to my girl for the sake of a little effort on my part.


My mum cut my hair short....and I mean short. No4 razor all over short. I had (and have) a big square skull, my hair is very fine and looking back on the photographs it wasn`t a short cut...it looked like I had ringworm. And little girls in the sixties didn`t have their hair cut like that. They had bobs or plaits. I wanted a bob or plaits. I didn`t want to be different but my mother didn`t listen. She just wanted easy care hair. My hair was (and is) fine and tangly and I know from looking after Mairi`s identical hair that it takes time and effort. And we have good conditioners and spray-in detanglers now.
I can see from the pictures of me at three that I had beautiful long ringlets. At four I looked hideous. Why did my mother do that to me?

Anyway, back to Mairi. If I`d cut that hairbrush out it would have meant cutting the hair off at scalp level. And cutting all the rest off at nearly the same length...just like I used to have. I hated my hair clipped , I knew she would hate it. So worth the effort.

I don`t think all short hair is ugly. There are lots of little girls at the nursery with lovely short hair that looks really pretty. If Mairi wanted a short cut like that I`d actually be quite pleased....easy care! But not a "ringworm" crop, nonono!Not for a little girl that wants to be Rapunzel, or a mermaid.

And as an aside, I know people lose their hair from medical treatments and such and feel really sensitive about it. My elder son lost all his hair when he was undergoing chemo. He actually quite suited it, once we got used to it, and his friends thought it was a pretty cool extreme haircut! But he hated the way it made him look different and how people stared, and he wore a hat all the time he was out in public.

4 comments:

blueadt said...

My DD cut her own hair off when she was about 3. She stood on her potty & helped herself to the kitchen scissors - I didn't have drawer locks then but fitted them a few hours later.

One snip in particular was milimeters away from her scalp near her crown so the hairdresser had to take it all off below her ears & we had to keep it short for over a year until that particular piece grew down. Her beautiful curls never grew back.

Now she has long hair well past her shoulders but it's straight as a die!

Well done for having the patience to save her hair.

ra said...

I was one of the people who commented and I hope I didn't cause offence. I understand better now what you meant about your own hair as a child.

Glad that you're feeling better now that the stress of the party is over and you're back with the spuds!

Zippianna said...

Bad Hair memories don't go away either, they cling. To control all aspects of my life, my father was determined that I would be ugly, so he would cut my hair all off from time to time. He would get angry at me if I said anything negative about, too. I didn't know that he is just a horrible, mean man; I thought that he was normal and something was wrong with me. I learned to cut my own hair becase I couldn't stand to let anyone else cut it ever again.

All the Way With Knitting said...

You are not alone..my Mum did it too....I looked horrible she used a basin..working-class folks really did that .So I wanted red ( Henna) Pre-Raphaelite hair for years.