Monday, November 17, 2008

Garlic Pt.2.

The whole road stinks of garlic. Whatever these fancy varieties tasted like, they sure did have an abundance of whatever makes garlic garlicky. I go out the front door and all I can smell is garlic, from the stray cloves that got run over on the road by cars.

Actually this could be a new form of vandalism....malicious damage by smell. If you didn't like garlic then ran over a bulb of my super-pongy stuff then you'd be mighty upset at your car stinking of garlic for weeks, no? Easy enough to set up as well...just tuck a bulb under the front of the wheel. Come to think of it one of my neighbours might be an ideal candidate for this....*grin*

No, of course I wouldn't. He's probably already got plenty garlic on his wheels by now anyway. But I did turn my mind as to what I could do to discourage the scrotes from coming in my garden again. Here in the UK we're not allowed to use anything that might be actually dangerous to intruders, so barbed wire and an electrified fences are not allowed in domestic garden settings. Eventually I settled on a simple but hopefully elegant solution. (Until the Pyracanthia hedge takes root. 1" long thorns on my Pyracanthia.) The scrotes had also damaged one of the apple trees by bending down the branches to use them to haul themselves out over the garden wall, and several branches had broken. I pruned them off and then...dropped them in a neat heap just where the scrotes jump over. They will never see them in the dark. There are several very big and tough branches, with many very sharp and pointy twigs sticking out of them that could give you a very nasty poke or ten if you dropped on top of them. It will really hurt. Hopefully.

3 comments:

Rosie said...

Good plan: hope it works.

Nic said...

Have you got a hawthorn hedge near you that might need pruning too? We have a horrid one at the side of our garden and they have mighty nasty thorms which would hurt, should you get one in your leg as you were jumping over someones garden wall. What horrid scrotes (I haven't used that term in ages!!) you have there...at least its veggies they are nicking rather than your car I suppose but I'd be mighty pissed off too!!
Nic

birdwoman said...

Just catching up on your blog - I'd be so utterly furious if someone stole my produce!! Do you have any suspects? I hope they get well and truly scratched. And I second the idea of big thorny bushes to discourage them.