Saturday, November 24, 2007

November 24th.

Today is that day again.

I'm not saying life really gets better about this sort of thing, but you do get used to it. I was watching a terribly trite program on bereavement a few months ago when someone came out with a very true statement "You never get over these things, but you do work out ways of getting through them". Yup, that's true. The thing is it all takes such an amazingly long time to get to this stage but conversely on days like today it seems like it all happened only a few days ago.

This morning though I looked at my tall, fair, lively and beautiful daughter as she scampered around the house in her PJs looking for breakfast. She's six years and five weeks old today. Next year she will be seven, and the same age as her big brother when he died. Also, the same number of years will have passed since he died as he lived with us. It all seems impossible in a way, even yet. I wonder if seven years will be the magic number for me when I finally come to terms with all this? Because it's certainly not happened yet. What does "come to terms with" mean anyway?

However as they also say, life goes on. Today we are off to the Haddington Scouts Christmas Fair, which is the official start of the Christmas season for us. It's a fun, lively, very home-made and well run event and the kids enjoy it hugely. A good time to turn another corner and into another year, I think.

8 comments:

Alison said...

oh Isabella. you know that my last two months or so would have been immeasurably harder without your support, and the fun you've made sure I've had, along with all the good advice.
thank you so much for being here for me, and for the strength you're giving me. It's a great big huge help, and I can't thank you enough.
Just so's you know, 'k thx bye.

Helen said...

I can't say about losing a child and I think that must be different, but it's 26 years now since my brother died and it does get easier. I actually like the anniversary now because it gives me an opportunity to remember him and talk about him (well, I remember him all the time, but it's good to have an excuse to talk about him), even although there are fewer people now to talk to about him. And I always buy him flowers which would amuse him enormously; I don't think he ever thought about flowers in his life, but I like to do it and I like to think of him being amused.

I hope you have a good time with the Scouts.

gourdongirl said...

I didn't really know you when Robbie was alive, even if our sons were in the same class. It was after his death that we got to know each other, I'm just sorry I never met him.

I have only ever lost older people, so can not even begin to imagine how it would feel to loose a child and how difficult it still is for you all.

I don't really know any words that will help, if there are, so I will remain silent and send you a cyber hug instead.

yvette said...

Sending you good wishes and cyber hugs, take care :)

Linda said...

I just can't imagine what a time you have been through and how you ever get on with life after such an experience like losing a child. My thoughts are with you though. xx
We have our local Craft and Continental fare today which always marks the beginning of xmas time for me too!

Penny said...

(((Hugs)))

Herzblut said...

hope you enjoyed the trip to Haddy.sending a big hug(((((((you)))))

BabyLongLegs said...

(((Hugs))) Isabella.....
Thinking of you and your angel...

Love
Sarah xXx